As children, we all fear something. Some kids are afraid of dogs. Other's are afraid of the ocean (I'm still not too fond of this). Even more are afraid of adults. Usually, children tend to grow out of these fears, as they realize dogs aren't always barking, you don't have to go past your knees in the ocean, and that adults are just big kids (most of the time). As I've grown in the last few years, I have begun to understand that all the energy that was spread out into a number of different fears has joined forces to create a fear in me that weighs on my mind on a daily basis. Zombies.
It is silly. It is completely unreal (as far as I know), but after waking from a nightmare that shook me into walking around the house for an hour, I realized that I have a phobia of the undead. Last night, I had to turn every light on in the house before I could comfortably go to sleep. This is not the worst it has gotten.
There is not a place I can travel that keeps my mind away from some zombie scenario. When I take Riley grocery shopping, I only think of food that I can store in case of a zombie apocolypse. The baseball bat in my trunk is a precaution. I even told Callista that she needed to read the "Zombie Survival Guide" because in case of a war, I wasn't about to save someone who wasn't prepared (it scares me because I think that I was semi-serious with this statement).
The worst part is that I haven't even begun to train Riley in the forms of Zombie Combat. She understands that zombies say "braaaaaaains," but does not understand that they would not hesitate to eat her. How do you explain to a toddler that you have to remove the head or destroy the brain? When we play hide and seek, she always says, "Here I am!" Bad move, Riley. And I'm pretty sure she isn't strong enough to wield some sort of deadly medival weapon that could rip through undead flesh.
This may seem crazy, but think about any other creature one may battle. Vampires are not only sexy, but retain complete consciousness during their time as the creature. Werewolves blackout, kill some people, then wake up in human form. Crazy nights, normal days. Aliens have technology. And the international sign of the doughnut wouldn't be as entertaining without "ack aaaack" behind it. Zombies are a creature of mindless hunger, consisting of undead tissue and damned to walk the earth devouring the flesh of the living with no consiousness or will. Even the Devil can bargain with your soul.
No matter who you are. No matter what walk of life you come from. No matter how much you prepare, there is only one thing that everyone can agree on; Zombies are FUCKED. UP.
The zombie survival guide SHOULD be required reading in public schools, but hey, guess the more untrained, unprepared people will benefit us though in the long run. I mean, the undead have to eat somehow.
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