Comrade Profile Part 2; A Tip Of The Hat To The Incorrigible Mr. Tharp

Teachers, mentors, trainers, whatever you like to call them, there are certain people that bestow upon the general public a specific set of skills and attributes that enhance daily life. It's fair to say that my parents have given me a number of tools to get me through normal societal situations. But there is only one man that has given me unique tools that can get me out of dangerous terrorist situations, help me to acquire items in any situation, and generally have a sense of humor about everything. This one Mr. Tharp is anything but ordinary.

This man has corrupt me in ways that have secured my throne in hell. But more like a poolhopping, shoplifting, vandalistic hell. A New Found Glory soundtracked, crappy zombie movie, party pizza hell. It was really more like a vacation starting with Biscuits and Gravy and ending with 40 people running down the beach screaming "BLOWJOBS!" around an elderly couple during spring break.

There is not a chronicle that compares to the life that Chris and I lived during those years in high school. Here are a few accomplishments of ours, just for your entertainment;

-We were able to dupe an entire high school, convincing the population that Chris only dated black women

-We wrote the entire screenplay for Jurassic Park 4, which included super intelligent Velociraptors wearing lab coats and monocles. They also had speaking parts that were interrupted by eating someone by surprise.

-Somehow, we were able to develop a psychological connection which eventually led to us being able to read each others minds.

-He taught me how to steal. And for a few years, I'm pretty sure we owned the entire mall.

-The two of us have achieved more stage dives and high fives than anyone we know. We also developed a technique that ensures a solid high five, guaranteed.

-Through an entire summer, we finished off an entire section of horror movies from blockbuster. We still cannot figure out the name of the best movie of the bunch.

No matter who you are, ChrisT will make you laugh harder than anyone you've ever met. He will teach you his ways in the dark arts. He will make references to movies you should know, but you don't, and he will ridicule you for it. If boys are made of snakes and snails and puppy dog tails, Mr. Tharp has broken this mold. If anything, he's made of awesome, and mindfreaking, and literally the most creative sense of humor on the planet.

So, for that, a tip of the hat to you, the Incorrigible Mr. Tharp.