8 Hours of Unfit Dullards.

It's hard to imagine that a company as successful as the one I work for can harbor so much stupidity and lack of common sense. Not just in the company itself, but the people it brings around as well as the people that just hang out in this part of the city. Here's a few examples;

-Imagine being 16 and not appreciating the value of a dollar. Now, take your father's expensive car, drive around a parking lot, and try to park in a spot half the size of your car. At this point, ram the car in the spot next to your goal. Back up, drive around the parking lot some more, and try to park in the same spot. Now, ram the car in the other spot next to the car. Then be mad that you did it.

-Most common phrase in our store; "Do you have coffee?"

-If you are a creepy dude who constantly lurks on underage girls in bikinis, you are allowed to hang out outside the store. It is essential that you explain how you "fucked your girlfriend" all weekend. Please, leave your box of milk duds behind the seats, as well.

-I do not care about your cats.

-Yes, I am tired. Thank you for pointing that out for me. It's good for anyone's self esteem. Do you know where I could get a good cup of coffee? Really? That is a good joke! I'll have to use that, since it's the first time I've ever heard it.

-Sir, that is a fire lane, not a drive thru. Please, if you could move your motorcycle out from under the "do not park your motorcyle here" sign, we would greatly appreciate it.

-Ma'am, it would seem that you are leaking plastic. Oh, you just had plastic surgery? Your huge fake tits didn't point that out. Please, continue feeding off of your doctor husband. Oh, and don't drive your expensive SUV into the light post. Oh, you did that already? Maybe you should give Abbie Normal her mind back.

-Go, Sarah, Go! Your political views interest me! Please, tell me more about how Muslims are terrorists, gun control is bad (everyone should own an automatic), and how the middle east should be nuked into oblivion. I'll not be offended.

-Thank you for my ticket to heaven. I had a feeling that working with developmentally disabled children was not doing any good for my soul. With this fictional character named Jesus Saves and this ticket, I've got an in.

-After watching your kids run around here, I would say that they are not, in fact, terrific.

Now excuse me, I am off to enjoy the rest of my shark week.