Now, facial hair has become something of a man thing throughout human history. This is a fact. Styling facial hair has become an even greater phenomena (see World Beard and Mustache Championships). Through all this, the fact remains; beards reign supreme in the face accessories realm. And because this type of facial hair harnesses such great power, I am here to offer an idea to solve the current energy crisis. The beard as a renewable energy resource. This probably will not make sense, but just follow me.
First of all, the greatness of a man can be determined by how great his facial hair can be. The fact that facial hair can automatically separate men into classes can attest to that. Here's a good example; You are in the grocery store. As a woman, you often notice men glancing at you, and its kind of flattering. Once you head to the produce section, you notice a man staring at you. He has a creepy dude mustache (the fact that you can call this bit of facial hair "creepy" says it all). You are automatically uncomfortable, as he reaches for a bunch of bananas while still staring at you.
Now, imagine this happening with a fully bearded man. This man is charming, automatically, because the beard has an aura about it. A sense of mystery that comes with not knowing the prize in a crackerjack box. This man is near godliness his facial hair is so great. So, what makes women so attracted to me in general?
Beards harness a specific energy that produces magnetic levels of awesomeness. These levels of awesomeness spark reactions in people that no other resource can. No matter the situation, one must try to surround themselves with certain levels of awesomeness, doing whatever it takes to acheive these levels. This, in turn, creates a positive influence on behavior, increasing productivity and efficiency in work and life in general. Those with beards are considered to be %150 more productive than those with no facial hair at all (Kowalski, 2005).
What makes the beard so powerful is not just its levels of awesomeness, but the fact that no matter the type of facial hair one may have, the beard always tries to come through. Yes, sir, I see your mustache. But I also see your 5 o'clock shadow. Looks like your face gets how awesome beards are.
It is said that levels of awesomeness in beards are enough to power entire cities. There is really no way to measure the greatness that lies within this man-hair. Scientists are working around the clock, figuring out ways to harvest this power, while also trying to eliminate faux-beards like the pencil thin chinstrap. It is believed that the chinstrap actually weakens the power of beardawesomeness, dulling not only its power, but its beard-farmer as well. As of right now, the technical term is "major bummer."
On a final note, there is no other facial hair that you can make an entire band and influential album after. So, I will leave you with that while I go listen to Hatebeard - Persebeardance.
First of all, the greatness of a man can be determined by how great his facial hair can be. The fact that facial hair can automatically separate men into classes can attest to that. Here's a good example; You are in the grocery store. As a woman, you often notice men glancing at you, and its kind of flattering. Once you head to the produce section, you notice a man staring at you. He has a creepy dude mustache (the fact that you can call this bit of facial hair "creepy" says it all). You are automatically uncomfortable, as he reaches for a bunch of bananas while still staring at you.
Now, imagine this happening with a fully bearded man. This man is charming, automatically, because the beard has an aura about it. A sense of mystery that comes with not knowing the prize in a crackerjack box. This man is near godliness his facial hair is so great. So, what makes women so attracted to me in general?
Beards harness a specific energy that produces magnetic levels of awesomeness. These levels of awesomeness spark reactions in people that no other resource can. No matter the situation, one must try to surround themselves with certain levels of awesomeness, doing whatever it takes to acheive these levels. This, in turn, creates a positive influence on behavior, increasing productivity and efficiency in work and life in general. Those with beards are considered to be %150 more productive than those with no facial hair at all (Kowalski, 2005).
What makes the beard so powerful is not just its levels of awesomeness, but the fact that no matter the type of facial hair one may have, the beard always tries to come through. Yes, sir, I see your mustache. But I also see your 5 o'clock shadow. Looks like your face gets how awesome beards are.
It is said that levels of awesomeness in beards are enough to power entire cities. There is really no way to measure the greatness that lies within this man-hair. Scientists are working around the clock, figuring out ways to harvest this power, while also trying to eliminate faux-beards like the pencil thin chinstrap. It is believed that the chinstrap actually weakens the power of beardawesomeness, dulling not only its power, but its beard-farmer as well. As of right now, the technical term is "major bummer."
On a final note, there is no other facial hair that you can make an entire band and influential album after. So, I will leave you with that while I go listen to Hatebeard - Persebeardance.
this is significantly and most profoundly ridiculous.
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