The Bangpiece

The relationship is a fluid, unpredictable, and completely ambiguous entity that plagues the entirety of the human race. What's worse is that men and women are completely different animals. The man in the relationship is oblivious, either forgetting or completely missing the needs of the female. The woman in the relationship expects the man to think like the woman, and this is just simply not possible.

So, in a world where relationships are as complicated as the Osmond family tree, there is a shining light for those who haven't found a person that compliments them entirely. There is a dessert that some may skip the main course for. For those lacking in love, there is an outlet that is like a junkie's fix, or the quencher of thirst.

This would be The Bangpiece.

Now, everyone has had a bangpiece, and if you haven't, then you're lying. Or you're a prude, and that is ok. Either way, the bangpiece is an integral part of a person's life. This is much more than the one night stand or the friend-with-benefits. The bangpiece is a continued, no-strings-attached sexual relationship where it is understood by both parties that under no circumstances will a normal relationship ever spawn. At the point of emotion, the bangpiece becomes null and void, and the relationship is thus disbanded.

Are there any real benefits to the bangpiece? Probably not. Does it replace the affection and emotion of a real relationship? Definitely not. But is it a good way to have completely robotic and emotionless sex? You betcha. There is no real moral benefit. There is no real spiritual benefit. The Bangpiece merely represents the animal nature of the human. It is the bro in all of us. It is something of mystery that is fresh and exciting to everyone.

So, if you've found your bangpiece, great. If you're still looking, you're one of three things; ugly, moral, or you suffer from a horrbile, societal disorder that keeps you from spotting and approaching a bangpiece. But much like the lochness monster, bigfoot, and other creatures of legend, the bangpiece is an elusive being, and once one is discovered, it doesn't manage to stay around for long. That, or you're hideously deformed. Yuck.